RECIPROCAL SYSTEM DATABASE Status Report: An Aperiodic Blog

October 11, 2008

TO: Particle Physicists–A Parody

Filed under: Science — transpower @ 10:22 pm

This is just TOOOO good!!!!

Physicists and chemists at Lawrence Livermore Laboratories have discovered the two heaviest elements yet known to science. 


One new element, Governmentium (Gv) , has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.


These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons , which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.


Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from 1 to 4 years to complete.


Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.


In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.


This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass


Scientists observed that when catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (Ad ,) the other newly-discovered element. Administratium radiates just as little energy as Governmentium because it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
 


The true fundamental component of the universe is Space-Time, not quarks, not strings.

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